November 30, 2006

On Sunday, Steven invited Ron over to watch a football game and so as to give them a chance to watch in peace, other Amy and I took all the kids to Toys R Us. It is quite a challenge to keep up with Ysa in public...she runs, she shrieks, she is insulted if you try to corrall her at all. Anyway, there were these styrofoam swords there that Steven and I had previously had fun with at the store but didn't buy them, so I decided to get them because I figure the family that fences together, stays together. Steven was very pleased with my purchase and already we've had tons of quality family time trying to run each other through. The funniest thing is that the other night, Garnet tried to stab me in the groin and said she was going to cut my giny off and eat it. That was a little disturbing especially since she said it so gleefully. Gee, I hope we aren't turning the kids into sociopaths...

The other game Garnet likes to play is the horse game. In this game, we are all parts of the whole horse. Usually Garnet will say that I get to be the head, she is the booty, Ysa is the lungs or liver, depending on her mood, and Steven gets to be the pee-nus, I guess cause he's the only boy in the room. Steven has not always been happy about being always relagated to penis status until Garnet decided that she was the horse booty and Steven, Ysa, and I were the poop that she went around shating out. He decided being the penis wasn't so bad. As an aside, we don't usually have to act out our respective roles, just Garnet pretending to poop.

And speaking of poop, there are those times you bathe your children and they are all clean and sweet and you get them dressed in cute clothes and then they poop. You have to take off the cute clothes and change the diaper and it's a little annoying because then you don't feel they are quite so clean anymore. I'll tell you what is more annoying. This morning the girls and I got out of a fabulous tub where we bathed luxuriously in Lush Flying Fox bath gel and Garnet washed my hair with the extraordinary Godiva shampoo. We all smelled like jasmine, just lovely. However, Ysa escaped after drying off and before I could get a diaper on her, she pooped on the floor. But she didn't stay in one place so there was one big pile of poop, and then a few smaller piles of poop, and then footprints where she tracked the poop, and inexplicably, poop on a toy frying pan. I had to put the girls in Ysa's room and shut the door so I could clean up three rooms of poo. It kind of defeated the relaxation of the bath. But I doubt I will be irritated by changing a diaper right after a bath again. I will realize it could be much worse. Cleaning up a mess like that really drives home that you indeed are the parent and there is no one to call to rescue you, no one else to clean up the mess, and nothing you can do but clean it up, depite the fleeting thought of closing all the doors, dressing the girls and leaving for the day.

Amy's new obsession

For her birthday, Garnet received Littlest Pet Shop pets. These have become my new obsession. They are really cute with tiny bodies and big heads, they remind me of these tiny dolls I had when I was a little girl. They also come with all these miniscule accessories, like bars of soap and blow dryers and stethoscopes. I love the littlest pets and it's fun to play with them with Garnet (but not while Ysa is around; she is Babyzilla). So Garnet already has about nine pets and a house and animal hospital, but I went to Walmart the other night while the kids were sleeping (don't worry, Steven was there, I wouldn't leave them by themselves) and couldn't resist buying more. I bought five sets and not all with Garnet in mind. I specifically bought the seahorse and aquarium for me. I only gave her two though, I'm saving the other three for Christmas. I know it seems silly but for so long we've had to either play "dinosaurs" or pretend to be characters from her favorite movie of the week. To have some variety is very exciting. Garnet and I can't wait for our chances to get together and play Littlest Pets. Her favorite is a gray kitten; I am partial to the mice. Wow, I think I need to get out more...


Amy

Our kids are really funny--exactly what I wanted. But they are also really sweet. The other night when I was putting Garnet to bed she said that when we died and came back to life she wanted to marry me. I can't think of anything sweeter than a child's love. Garnet also comes and gets into bed with me almost every night and although we have a king sized bed, she snuggles right up to my back. It's very cozy. Many times during the day she will say, "Mommy?" and I'll say, "Yes, Garnet?" and she'll reply, "I love you." Just for no reason. It makes me feel like we are doing something right. Ysa isn't verbally very expressive yet but she certainly enjoys the breastfeeding and clearly has deep love for my breasts. When she wants to nurse she comes up to me, pats me on the chest while simultaneously smacking her lips and nodding her head. Then she plops down on my lap and lays back to wait for the nummy. Before you havve children, no one can possibly make you know how difficult it is to try to raise them into good humans; no one can make you know how absolutely amazing and wonderful it is either.


Amy

Garnet learns the concept of Emphasis

Last night we were at Target and we purchased a new toy for Garnet, her lastest obsession is called The Littlest Pets. Anyone who has bought any toys recently knows that the packaging process has gotten a bit out of hand, and Hasbro who makes the littlest pets is especially crazy.
They double wrap them in hard plastic and all the little pieces are rubberbanded to the package and then everything is banded together with plastic coated metal ties and lots of tape. They must spend more money on packaging the product then the actual product itself.
So we get her the toy, and of course she wants to play with in the car, i mean i can't blame her when i get a new toy i want play with it as soon as possible as well. So we do the usual speech "OK sweetie we will try and get one of the pieces out, but you know the package is difficult to open, we may not be able to get them all out, We will open it all when we get home" and so on.
She's usually OK with this explanation, and she took it OK then but said.
"The next time i get a littlest pet, i'm going to call them and tell them not to make the package difficult to open, and i'm going to say the word "Effing" so that it works.
At some point our friend Scott started saying just the first letter of Fuck so everything would be Oh Eff that, or what an Effing A-hole. Now he didn't teach Garnet that, that was us, her parnets. well we didn't directly teach her to say F but you know they pick these things up.
On the bright side if you have read any other of our post's you would see that she used to say "Wucking" that was before she could make the F sound.
So despite the fact that she's learning to curse, I felt proud that she understands the important concept of Emphasis, and that if you need to get something done you have to say the word Fucking! in some form or another.
Yes i know, we're bad parents. Actually, you know whose fault it is? Shoplifters.
Steven.

Things you never hear adults say

Last night Garnet and i had our first conversation about Constipation.
She came out of the bathroom and said "Daddy, I pooped and it hurt my butt"
So i had to explain that the cough medicine that the doctor gave her can sometimes
make you constipated, needless to say i wasn't quite prepared for this conversation, but i did my best not to laugh. Until you have kids you just don't normally have these types of conversations with other people, well unless you're in a rock band. For some reason being in a band turns everyone into 12 year old boys, and you talk about poop alot. But even after being in bands my whole life i have never talked about poop as much as i do now that i have kids.
Next time i'm with a group of adults and i'm returning from the bathroom i have to try that
line on them and see what happens. "Hey guys, I just pooped and it hurt my butt"

Steven.

Goo and Bella

A true American family