death and sex
I had to have one of my cats put to sleep 10 days ago. Chloe's health had been declining and the vet thought that it was a thyroid condition but it ended up being cancer and her liver was failing. I thought when I took her into the vet that I would drop her off and if she had to be euthanized that I would come back by myself as I had the girls with me. As it turns out, it was surgery day at the vet's and they had to do it right then, so both my girls were with me. They offered for them to wait in the waiting room, but Ysa wouldn't stay with the receptionist and Garnet wanted to be brave and stayed with me.
I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, having them there. Ysa is so little and I thought that the term, "put to sleep," might scare her when it was time for her to go to sleep. I explained that it wasn't the same kind of sleep but really she didn't seem concerned. It's difficult to know what to allow your child to experience...should I have made them stay in the waiting room? I think that would have been more traumatic. Garnet and I have had some talks about the cats still at home, how they are pretty young but one day will get sick and die. She occasionally asks me when I will die, she's a worrier, that one. I tell her that people often live to be very old and that I do my best to take care of myself and be healthy, but really we just have to appreciate right now and be happy and not worry about later.
At the other end of the spectrum, Garnet finally got around to asking me how babies are actually made. She's known for awhile that the baby grows in the uterus and how it gets out, but she never thought to ask how it gets there, until last week. We were in the car, and I did my best to just be matter of fact about the whole thing. She was worried--she said it seemed hard and that I just happened to get lucky. I told her it wasn't so difficult. She loves babies and sometimes she worries about not being able to have one. I don't know why she would worry about that, but it's one of the things that we talk about when we go to sleep at night. I really think she didn't quite believe me because, later that evening, we were looking at a website, howstuffworks.com, and she said I should ask the website so we could get the "real" answer. I was a little incredulous that she thought I didn't really know! Like maybe it was some mystery and I made up the answer on the fly. I do remember when I found out, I thought it was a lie. At nine, it seemed to me kind of a gross way of going about it.
Having to explain things to children makes you (hopefully) think about why you feel the way you do. It helps clarify your position. Lets you in on the stuff you need to learn about.
I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, having them there. Ysa is so little and I thought that the term, "put to sleep," might scare her when it was time for her to go to sleep. I explained that it wasn't the same kind of sleep but really she didn't seem concerned. It's difficult to know what to allow your child to experience...should I have made them stay in the waiting room? I think that would have been more traumatic. Garnet and I have had some talks about the cats still at home, how they are pretty young but one day will get sick and die. She occasionally asks me when I will die, she's a worrier, that one. I tell her that people often live to be very old and that I do my best to take care of myself and be healthy, but really we just have to appreciate right now and be happy and not worry about later.
At the other end of the spectrum, Garnet finally got around to asking me how babies are actually made. She's known for awhile that the baby grows in the uterus and how it gets out, but she never thought to ask how it gets there, until last week. We were in the car, and I did my best to just be matter of fact about the whole thing. She was worried--she said it seemed hard and that I just happened to get lucky. I told her it wasn't so difficult. She loves babies and sometimes she worries about not being able to have one. I don't know why she would worry about that, but it's one of the things that we talk about when we go to sleep at night. I really think she didn't quite believe me because, later that evening, we were looking at a website, howstuffworks.com, and she said I should ask the website so we could get the "real" answer. I was a little incredulous that she thought I didn't really know! Like maybe it was some mystery and I made up the answer on the fly. I do remember when I found out, I thought it was a lie. At nine, it seemed to me kind of a gross way of going about it.
Having to explain things to children makes you (hopefully) think about why you feel the way you do. It helps clarify your position. Lets you in on the stuff you need to learn about.
posted by Gazapo @ 8:50 PM
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